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A decision lasts only a moment for me before I doubt it and curse myself…’
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The world of sex for show and power…The part of me with the ability to decide for myself whether something is right or wrong has been taken away. The scariest thing to Laura is the idea that BOB has actually been controlling her all along, pushing her further and further to the point where she will fully lose herself.Īnd the drugs she continues to take only blur that line even further: ‘Fall into the world of drugs. This, however, constitutes yet another split within Laura’s mind: again, literally, it’s an evil force that has invaded her metaphorically, it’s a manifestation of her self-hatred and the threat of what staying ‘bad’ Laura for too long could do to her, namely cause her to lose control and compassion utterly, and become as heartless as she only seems to be at times. This is complicated by the fact that, at times ‘bad’ Laura seems to actually be the ‘real’ her, while others, it’s a burden she’s undertaken, wilfully ignoring her natural impulses to be ‘good’ Laura, such as when she breaks Bobby’s heart by laughing at him after the first time they have sex. In the previous section, Laura spoke about splitting into ‘bad’ Laura and ‘good’ Laura–the good Laura being the perfect, innocent prom queen image that she projects and wishes she could be, the ‘bad’ Laura being a persona that she sometimes claims to have adopted in order to wall herself off from her emotions, simultaneously protecting herself (even though a lot of this behaviour paradoxically puts her in danger) and allowing her to fight BOB. DON’T YOU JUST FEEL LIKE GIVING IN TO ME AGAIN. REMEMBER, LAURA PALMER, I CAN MANIPULATE YOUR CONSCIENCE SO THAT YOU FEEL NOTHING BUT WHAT I CHOOSE FOR YOU TO FEEL.
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This is not at all what I was trying to write! TELL THEM WHAT, LAURA PALMER? TELL THEM THAT I TAKE YOU AWAY AND YOU NEVER ARGUE? YOU NEVER SCREAM FOR HELP? TELL THEM YOU SEE ME BUT NO ONE ELSE DOES? NO ONE WILL BELIEVE YOU, LAURA PALMER. I’m just going to have to tell everyone and make them believe. It’s crucial to the narrative that both of these things are true at once.įrom seeming to take over Laura’s own voice in her diary, BOB progresses even more ostentatiously and threateningly by actually taking over control of Laura’s pen and writing in his own voice while she’s conscious–an absolutely horrific concept: BOB is a manifestation of her fears about herself, representative of the threat of Laura becoming her own abuser he’s also an actual, external, evil, otherworldly force trying to take her over. As has been discussed on the genius Diane podcast, the reason the story is able to strike at such psychological truth is that it’s operating on multiple levels of reality at once. The metaphor at work here is that of an abuse victim worried that she is succumbing to the darkness and is herself becoming a monster that her molester has sculpted into being, while on a literal level, we have what might be a Jekyll-and-Hyde scenario unfolding. I won’t even think it.’įor the first time, it seems that BOB isn’t only attacking her from without and making her doubt herself, but is possibly possessing and taking control of her from within. ‘I’ve never been more afraid than I am this very minute…Was BOB here? Was BOB inside. Not just that she was transcribing a vivid, realistic dream afterwards but that she was unconscious as it was written down. But perhaps even more disturbing is when a bemused Laura says a moment later that she was asleep while writing the previous words. Is this true?’ Leland stripping, of course, hints at his being BOB, and his abusively confrontational words echo with the scene in Fire Walk With Me where he becomes unexpectedly violent at the dinner table. It appeared in these photos that you were enjoying yourself. So your mother saw photos of you licking the little privates of other women. In her 10 January entry, she writes about trying to talk to her dad at breakfast whilst both of her parents ignore her, which seems par for the course, but suddenly Leland removes all of his clothes and screams, ‘It’s a dream. Even within the pages of her own diary, the walls separating them have grown very thin and she finds herself slipping between the two–very apt for Twin Peaks, particularly in light of the ‘who is the dreamer?’ motif of the third season. Between BOB’s psychological torment and her ever-increasing dependence on cocaine to function, our girl is having more trouble than ever before distinguishing between fantasy and reality. LAURA AND BOB: As Laura’s 1987 entries begin, it seems like she’s truly starting to unravel.